Who AM I?
I'm Velvet Lilith, Somatic Sexologist, Sex coach and Sex Educator.
I work with people who are ready to come home to their bodies, to stop performing sexuality and start embodying it. People who sense there's something deeper, wilder, more honest waiting beneath the scripts they've been handed.
My practice is a space where your journey gets to be messy, curious, evolving. Where scripts lose their grip and your body becomes the authority. Where experiencing pleasure is a learnable skill.
My work is rooted in sex-positivity, nervous system awareness, and the deep belief that pleasure is not a luxury, it's a birthright.
This work is for you if you're ready to explore what sexuality feels like when it's truly yours.
My work is Queer, kink, non-monogamy and sex-worker informed and friendly.
my journey as a sexual and embodied being
I grew up, like a lot of people, in a body I didn't really know.
Nobody sat me down and talked to me about desire, pleasure, relationships or what it might actually feel like to want something, and to know what that something was. So I did what a lot of us did: I turned to porn which is the equivalent of learning about relationships from romantic comedies: not useful or often not grounded in reality.
What followed were years of having a LOT of sex, some of it good, most of it not. I performed for the male gaze and for someone else's pleasure, the way good girls are taught to.
Until I decided that my body was mine. That my pleasure was mine. And that I was going to figure out, really figure out, what I actually enjoyed.
Two decades of learning in real time: through relationships, through mistakes, through heartbreak, through communities that weren't afraid to talk honestly about sex, through the straight world, through queer world, through monogamy, through non-monogamy, through spaces where sex was taboo, through spaces where sex was celebrated. I wore my sexuality in a way that earned me the word slut in my early days, which I learned to reclaim in an embodied way that was centered around MY pleasure rather than people pleasing.
That lived experience, alongside a decade of professional training and facilitating private and group work is what I bring into this space with you. My practice isn't built solely from a textbook but also encompasses lived experience and everything I've learned in real time: about bodies, about desire, about the gap between the sex we perform and the sex we actually want.
I'm in my forties now, and I feel more empowered as a sexual being each day. I have no intention of letting society dictate what my sex life should be like, what my body should look like or how I should dress. And I’m here to remind you to do exactly the same regardless of how old you are.
If you grew up without language for your body, without permission to want what you want, or even know what you want, or without anyone who could meet you where you are and this is impacting your relationship to yourself, your Eros and others now, you're exactly who I'm here for.
my approach
My practice is the result of my journey through the embodied and the sacred.
With roots in somatic sexology, somatics, bodywork, energy healing, shamanic practices, my work is grounded in the intelligence of the body and the unseen layers that shape our experience of self and other.
I’ve studied Shakta and Shaiva Tantra lineages, as well as sacred sexuality and neo-Tantra, blending ancient pathways with modern modalities and philosophies. My facilitation is informed by a decade of study and practice across diverse modalities from devotional ritual to trauma-informed somatic work, from the soft power of touch to the wild pulse of Eros.
Though my work draws from sacred traditions, it’s grounded, down-to-earth, and made for all people, not just spiritual seekers, but anyone longing to feel more alive, embodied, and empowered. In my private sessions and workshops, I use language that is accessible to people regardless of their beliefs and backgrounds.
Over the past decade, I’ve guided countless workshops, group and private transformational spaces, crafting immersive experiences that honour sovereignty, shame resilience, eros and the full spectrum of human expression.
qualifications
studies
Relationships, intimacy, and sexuality - The Sexual Integration Institute, Institute of Somatic Sexology, Bonnie Bliss, Betty Martin, Esther Perel, Cindy Darnell, Jack Morin, Jaiya, Brenee Brown & more
Embodiment, Somatics - Michaela Boem, Peter Levine, The Embody Lab
Tantra - Hareesh Wallis, Uma Neave & more
Neo Tantra - Tantra is Love, Luna Agneya, Barbara Carellas, Taste of Love & more
Kundalini Yoga - Brett Larkin, Samadhi Yoga Ashram
Kink - Colette Pervette, Electra Bond, Anne O’nomis, Lee Harrigton, various educators at AssFest, Oz Kinkfest workshops intensive, Studio of Secrets, 7daysofdomination & more
Certifications
Integrative Sex Coaching and Sex Education - The Sexual Integration Institute (currently completing)
Somatic Sex Coaching - Institute of Somatic Sexology
Sensual Embodied Dance Facilitator - Holly Wodetzki
Pranayama breathwork facilitator - Breath of the Heart
Kundalini Yoga YTT - Samadhi Yoga Ashram
Temple Style Lomi Lomi therapist - Christina Martin
Womb & Fertility Massage Therapy™ - Carol Jones
Circle Facilitator - The Global Sisterhood
Sacred Space Facilitator (Shamanic practice framework) - Sharon Bolt
Reiki Level 1, 2, Master - Alicia Casillas, Poppy Om Chi Reiki, Jeremy OCarroll
The Shakta Path - Ritual and Ceremony - Breath of the Heart, Uma Neave
Closing of the Bones Ceremony - Sophie Messager
The Four Seasons Journey - School of Shamanic Womancraft (Jane Hardwick Collins)
Women’s Health and Wellness Coach - Wellness College (currently completing)
Contact ME.
thevelvetlilith@gmail.com
0485 839 465